I've been putting too much energy into the possibility of a relationship. I often feel destined to never have such a thing anyway, so perhaps that is the way it will be. I should just accept it and live my life the way I want to live it. Why am I here?
Instead, I must put my energy towards something to be passionate for. Design is great, riding bikes is great, family, friends are great, but I feel like I am destined for something greater than what I am doing now. What that is, I don't know. {yes you do} And I feel like it's travel and farming, but in all reality, it scares the shit out of me to realize what kind of a huge decision that is to quit an awesome job with a great future, have minimal or no possesions, and go farming (which will result in no paycheck) around the world. It will come to a point where I will actually have to make a solid decision to pull the proverbial trigger.
Why am I so vexed in societal norms? Why do I seek more than mere contentment?
{Retrospect: 1/6/10} It doesn't matter why. Just seek. Why ask that a tree grows? Feel the tree growing. It is bigger than you can imagine.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Ideas
I don't drive a car.
I don't own a TV.
I don't eat meat.
I don't wear deodorant.
I don't use a microwave.
I don't own a TV.
I don't eat meat.
I don't wear deodorant.
I don't use a microwave.
&
I work in the entertainment marketing industry, and I love my job.
.:adam
Ride Your Bike
{Retrospect 1/21/10} Haha. Oh how things change... not entirely, though, i guess. I still love design, I just know my creative talents can better serve humanity than making more money for conglomerate entertainment studios.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
developments and progress
Things have been shifting into an interesting position as of late. The path of farming seems to be forming directly before me. My folks might be moving to New Orleans to work on the film Green Lantern, and they offered me their house, rent free, in Van Nuys. This will be a huge leap in the right direction to save up money, pay off bills, and begin WWOOF. While the $$ will be saved, it will put my living situation on hiatus for roughly 8 months. and I think i can stand to live with that for an extra $6000 (Nov-July x $750) in my pocket. I'll have to actually save it, instead of buying new bikes, eating out all the time, drinks, and generally throwing it down the drain. This will also give me the opportunity to find a great studio or, preferably, a garage conversion or back-house for the following year before eventually, taking off to go farming. I like my own space, and have really been enjoying my personal space living in Koreatown. While I thoroughly like my apartment and its proximity to everything, the noisy Wilshire & Vermont I have not been enjoying.
I concept on Atom Farm frequently in my own time whether riding my bike, laying in bed, at work while designing, etc. Additionally, I love talking about the possibilities of what it could be with friends who have similar ideas of a sustainable lifestyle. How amazing it will be. Like a hippy commune, but fused with technology, showers, and most importantly, and real future. Sometimes it dawns on me that this is no small undertaking, and that I have so much to learn and prepare to make this dream a reality. But Rome wasn't built in a day, so I figure I have some time to get it all gelled together. Slowly, but surely.
I need a new hobby, or some new inspiration for design and bikes. Recently returning from travel makes me restless and want to travel more. But I must be patient. Rock climbing seems like a possibility, but it's expensive indoors. I want to start painting with this new technique I'm working on. Since my creativity is stronger in design and digital image manipulation, I want to design a scene, print it in sections, and paint over that on canvas. Sort of a mixed media, I guess. I used to frequent the art scene in Culver City quite a bit, but for some reason stopped going (a girl no doubt). Very much like to get back into that.
Sometimes I feel like there are so many events and parties out there all happening at once, its hard to choose, or to choose to go out at all. I find myself busy almost every night of the week, and while I love hanging out with friends, riding bikes, and socializing, there is a part of me that really desires to just stay in and read, design, paint, and just enjoy myself in my apartment. I would like to be home more often. Routine and I never got along though.
I have actually been focusing alot more at work. Putting in the time and effort and seeing some decent results. Not even remotely close to the skill level I would like to be at, but growing in that general direction nonetheless. I have the feeling I'm that weird, fun guy who rides a bike to work. I get the impression there is an aura of mystery surrounding me and what I do on the weekends given that people are so inquisitive about my bike and lifestyle - even bosses have a tendency to be a little more open to me and talkative in a respectably similar fashion as they would someone on their... level; for lack of a better word. For what it's worth, I love my job. We have happy hour on the 12th floor every Wednesday, and catered lunch everyday, which i might add is phenomenal, considering it only costs $5 for the quality of food that is prepared. I eat better at work than I do at home.
In a more personal vein, my adventures with the opposite gender seem to be at a seasonal river's flow. That is to say there is nothing significant in my life right now. Things are casual, long distance, or sporadic, and while that's fine for now, and because I quite frankly don't have the time, I long for something a little more sentimentally steady.
atom really just wants a girl bear to share special things with.
I concept on Atom Farm frequently in my own time whether riding my bike, laying in bed, at work while designing, etc. Additionally, I love talking about the possibilities of what it could be with friends who have similar ideas of a sustainable lifestyle. How amazing it will be. Like a hippy commune, but fused with technology, showers, and most importantly, and real future. Sometimes it dawns on me that this is no small undertaking, and that I have so much to learn and prepare to make this dream a reality. But Rome wasn't built in a day, so I figure I have some time to get it all gelled together. Slowly, but surely.
I need a new hobby, or some new inspiration for design and bikes. Recently returning from travel makes me restless and want to travel more. But I must be patient. Rock climbing seems like a possibility, but it's expensive indoors. I want to start painting with this new technique I'm working on. Since my creativity is stronger in design and digital image manipulation, I want to design a scene, print it in sections, and paint over that on canvas. Sort of a mixed media, I guess. I used to frequent the art scene in Culver City quite a bit, but for some reason stopped going (a girl no doubt). Very much like to get back into that.
Sometimes I feel like there are so many events and parties out there all happening at once, its hard to choose, or to choose to go out at all. I find myself busy almost every night of the week, and while I love hanging out with friends, riding bikes, and socializing, there is a part of me that really desires to just stay in and read, design, paint, and just enjoy myself in my apartment. I would like to be home more often. Routine and I never got along though.
I have actually been focusing alot more at work. Putting in the time and effort and seeing some decent results. Not even remotely close to the skill level I would like to be at, but growing in that general direction nonetheless. I have the feeling I'm that weird, fun guy who rides a bike to work. I get the impression there is an aura of mystery surrounding me and what I do on the weekends given that people are so inquisitive about my bike and lifestyle - even bosses have a tendency to be a little more open to me and talkative in a respectably similar fashion as they would someone on their... level; for lack of a better word. For what it's worth, I love my job. We have happy hour on the 12th floor every Wednesday, and catered lunch everyday, which i might add is phenomenal, considering it only costs $5 for the quality of food that is prepared. I eat better at work than I do at home.
In a more personal vein, my adventures with the opposite gender seem to be at a seasonal river's flow. That is to say there is nothing significant in my life right now. Things are casual, long distance, or sporadic, and while that's fine for now, and because I quite frankly don't have the time, I long for something a little more sentimentally steady.
atom really just wants a girl bear to share special things with.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
